The Bad, The Worse, and The Worst

Let’s not pretend there’s anyone in our place who would be better suited to write this article, given the current happenings surrounding the W07 with #44 on it. I’m the epitome of pessimism ever since I’ve been around the AS-forums. However, there’s one big difference compared to 2014 and 2015: This time, all my negative predictions are coming true. While I do like to brag about my abilities to look into the future, I would rather have the good old times back when all the doom and gloom I was foreseeing turned up to be as reliable as a college girl’s faithfulness after two Long Island Ice Teas. Which leads me to the actual topic of this article: Holy moly, what the hell is going on with Lewis’ luck this season? The first four races make 2012 look like a joyride. Wait, did I just say that?
So, this is how Rosberg’s secret sabotage diary to finally win a WDC and emulate his dad as contender for the worst
WDC ever looks like:

– Muffed start in Australia, which was out of Lewis’s hands.
– A wild Bottas proving once again he isn’t WDC material even if the rest of the grid consisted of drivers with the very limited talent of Felipe Massa.
– Starting from last place on the grid after an engine failure in China followed by one of the two IKEA-coloured cars taking his front wing off and
– now, finally, the same engine issue again, which leads to Nico Rosberg having 8 cars between him and our Loisl. And let’s not even start talking about MAMGs race strategy. Saying it is hit and miss would be an insult to Lewis’ strategy team at McLaren, which is another thing I never thought I would say.

Sure, after the last two seasons, the amount of frustration over such setbacks is a teeny bit smaller than before. After all, our Loisl is a triple WDC and that is something that no one can take away from him. Then again, with all the rule changes introduced for 2017, Mercedes might end up finally building something that can’t be considered a kick in the nuts for the opposition. 2016 may be the last chance for a while for any Merc driver to win a WDC, and I just so desperately don’t want Rosberg to win it. Not this way. Not this season. Not with Lewis on the other side of the same garage. Not at all, actually.

I’ll admit that I don’t like Rosberg. I don’t rate him highly as a driver, regardless of the raw pace he’s got. There’s more to a driver than just outstanding one lap pace. I also don’t like the personality I can see through the television (knowing of course that people can be totally different once the cameras are off, but I guess I’ll never find out how he’s like so what I see on TV is all I can go by). I hate the fact that so often things have fallen into his hands and you can say that at least ¼ of his victories were down to the guy starting or racing in front of him having to retire or suffer from something else, which was out of his hands. He’s the Mini-Me-version of a certain Spanish two times WDC whose name shall not be disclosed due to reasons regarding my personal safety.

However, as much as I dislike Rosberg for rational or irrational reasons, it’s his “fans” who get on my nerves even more. It’s one thing to be happy about your favourite guy/ the only guy who can beat your most hated guy winning race after race after race after race after race after race after race (see, how painfully long this winning streak is?). Pretending that it’s anything special winning races in a dominant car with all of your opposition being handicapped even before the red lights go out is borderline retarded. Especially when it’s coming from the same people who were not giving Lewis any credit for most of his wins in 2015. You know, the year he actually had to race against another driver in the same car who had pretty much the same reliability and was only starting one place behind him most of the time because, well, he wasn’t fast enough in qualifying. Rosberg becoming WDC in 2016 due to all the shit that has been going on ever since the first race would feel as fake as Jimmy Fallon’s laughter and I don’t think he would get the credit he was probably hoping for after winning his first title. The way things stand, his 2016 campaign is like a penalty shootout with no goalkeeper and the actual goal being as wide as Chris Christie.

Where do we go from here? Well, it’s one hour before the Russian GP goes under way and I still haven’t lost all hope, which means no one out there has the right to do so. It’s still a long season ahead, although I’m starting to feel anger crawling up my internal organs hearing that phrase for the zillionth time ever since March.

If Russia goes wrong, we will have Spain next which I consider to be a “Nico circuit”, followed by Monaco, which brings back some terrible memories. Ow Canada, why are you still so far away? And how are we all going to cope?