Hungarian Grand Prix Race Review

Hungarian Grand Prix – AD 2015 (Two negatives equals positive)

Hello my dirty dozen. Or, as we say it in Austro-Hungarian kingdom üdvözlet. Oh yeah, after seeing some statistical nonsense about this very page, brought to my attention by our tech genius MrP, I figured, there are at least dozen of you who reads my nonsensical babblings and ramblings.Do you remember couple of years back, there was a sense of biblical rage against this Hungarian kartodrome? Of course you don’t, because you are so young that couple of years back a lot of you thought (yes, you too GC) that Formel Eins as a racing series begun with Michael Schumacher. And that Damon Hill is some hissy BBC pundit. And that Martin Brundle was a McLaren mechanic.Yes, every dawning year, there was outcry of purist (bullshit, there is nothin pure in F1) rage that this race needs to be axed ASAP, because it is so boring and stupid and all.But again, this year, as it was last, this race was a pure joy for any racing fan. From 2006 this race is producing results that are tottaly oposite to anything that season ahead was producing as a trend.

I must remind you, this is a portal that is devoted to anything Lewis Hamilton, and I in particular am blind to any other driver out there, except when they are getting on my nerves, or standing in my hero’s way.

In the midst of this three weeks break from F1, Jules Bianchi died, after long and sad nine months of fighting his own battle, and as a parent myself, this is horrible enough to just think about it. So I’ll just say, rest in peace dear, dear boy, you’ll always have a special place in my heart.


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What can I say about the race? For the second time in a row, Formula One produced a thriller, for anyone who is not Loisl Hamilton fan. Even for us, blind Hamiltonistas, yesterday’s result was a good one, because Nico von Slowberg sucked worse than Our Loisl. But this was Loisl’s race to take. Not just to take, but to make this track his bitch once and for all. He should have forced the organisers to call it Loislring for years to come. And to pay him his perks just to set a foot on that piece of tarmac. Dammit.

Friday, he killed everybody and their cats in practices. Even that Verstappen kid with a mouth like a truck tire was silent. Saturday, Qualy, Nico von R was a distant forty seconds back (not that much, but it sure looked like it).


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Then on Sunday, of all days, Paddy Lowe and his muppet group decided that they forget how to calibrate piece of machinery called The Clutch. And, when our Loisl released The Clutch, his W06 looked like a steam ship leaving a port in a hurry. By the first corner, both Red cars were infront of him, along with that sneaky Nico. Then, leaving all good decision making process that he made this year beforehand, our Loisl decided to engage Lewis Hamilton version 2011, and decided to be in a fantastic tenth place by the time he reached the chicane. From then on, this was a race of nerves, because he was stuck behind Felipe Massa. The same guy who can, by Loisl’s words, make a car twice as wide when he is in front. When Felipe is ahead of you at Hungaroring, you probably have a wet dream of Jarno Trulli being ahead of you at the Hungaroring. And Jarno Truli was a kind of driver because of whom people invented expression „the Trulli train”. I heard a story that in Japan people call their slower maglev trains the Trulli train. That’s how expression big in Japan was born. And somehow, Loisl made his way around Massa, and even pressured Nico von Slowberg when the safety car came in. By then, every Hamiltonista could almost smell the blood of them Red bastards ahead of him. It was a time for a payback. It was a time for a Trafalgar, dagger out, balls out, cavalry in reserve, put on the bayonettes… But, our Loisl was still in his so called 2001 Lewtard mode, and forgot to watch when the leader is starting….and then that crazy Aussie (no, not Webber, he is just pretending to be crazy) decided that he needs to clip the wings of both Mercs. The rest is history. I hope to forget it soon, because this is not how you make history when you are two times world champion. The only solace is that Nico Rosberg is further behind, when he was infront in WC standings for a couple of laps, and only his second rate skillset (for an F1 driver) allowed Danny Ricciardo to try and overtake Mercedes which is so much stronger than that Renault lump, that it’s a sad sight to behold.


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All in all, there are four weeks of serene holidays for me, and I hope for you too my dirty dozen, but the thought of Our Loisl spending them with Rihanna is giving me chills in the magnitude of some yet undiscovered sexually transmitted disease.

So, my friends, buddies and SennaFan24, stay well, stay healthy, and stay toned.

 

P.S. Fernando Alonso finished fifth. Not thanks to Honda. Or Ron Dennis.

 

P.P.S.I can’t wait to see Verstappen and Maldonado sharing the same corner side by side.

 

 

Yours truly,

 

 

Õrmester meddo